Never Emotions, the Internet
Have you ever noticed the one thing that is hardest to convey through blogs/posts/email/IM is emotion. Other than maybe anger, it's very hard to make the other person(s) aware of the subtelty of your meaning. The only way around it is to pepper your message with enough emoticons and ROTFLMAO's to make the other person suspect that you're really a teenage girl drunk off power from the high from the fumes of her glitter pens. Sarcasm is especially hard to express. You almost have to say something like "sarcasm mode on" before you write, otherwise people will pounce on you like a cat on under-the-covers toes. Explaining how much of a moron you are to have that view point, etc. I like the dry almost british deadpan delivery of a sarcastic comment. Which has the added bonus of making me sound serious online, though often my comments are far from serious. I think this is why my favorite form of communication is person-to-person.
Anyhoo. Speaking of internet etiquite, does anyone else cringe when SOMEONE STARTS TALKING IN ALL CAPS? SINCE THAT'S THE INTERNET EQUIVALENT TO SHOUTING??
Post Finals Detox
Finals are done. Yay! My brain I can say is actually full. I can't stuff an extra bit of information into it. Here's random sampling of things.
1) At some point, the Scooby-Doo theme song was stuck in my head. I have no idea why.
2) I'm tutoring a neighbors kid in chemistry. Much to my consternation, still remember the atomic weight of Oxygen, Calcium, and several others.
3) Spammers are trying to cash in on the holiday. I keep getting spam with the title of "Your order status: Rwillman". I hate spammers. There ought to be a special hell for people like that. Maybe like having to walk through an infinite mall and spend eternity fending off the people who want to spray you with scents/try out their widget/sign up for their cell phone. Of course, then there ought to be a special hell for THOSE people, where they are spammed once a second for eternity.
4) I thought I was being clever naming the cat Loki. We've since heard of two other people who've done so, and even one who calls it "Loki monster"....like we do.
5) They had a Behind the Scenes: Faulty Towers as a telethon on PBS the other night. I found out that Manuel on that show is really a very eloquent british man. I think that's odd.
6) I'm sporting a 3.85 in grad school. Woot.
7) I got an Old-World looking globe for christmas. I reiterate my original woot.
8) The nutjob in charge of Iran says that Hitlers extermination of the Jews is just a myth. And he's going to have nukes soon. I've always wondered what a post-apocalyptic world would be like. Looks like we'll actually get to find out.
9) I heard some hard liner make the statement that saying Merry Christmas was just expressing the Judeo-Christian belief that is the corner stone of our country. Now, I'm not big on P.C., I say Merry Christmas to you, you say Happy Hanukah/Winter Solstice/Geundathars Ascension to me. Fine. But I'm pretty sure the "Judeo" part doesn't give a rats ass about Christmas.
10) My football team is in the Emerald Bowl in San Francisco. Great. ANOTHER bowl game on the wrong side of the country.
11) That's all I think I think at the moment
Driving Test
Instructions:
Give yourself 1 points for every 'A' answer, 3 points for every 'B', and 5 points for every 'C'. You have 10 minutes. Begin.
Question 1:
You are traveling on an interstate or a major highway. There is some construction or accident up ahead and traffic is being merged from 4 lanes into 2. Do you:
A) Use the shoulder. You can cover a lot of distance that way, and besides, no one else is using it.
B) When you see an opportunity go ahead and merge. We're all equally screwed in this mess.
C) Pass everyone and get to the point where you are forced to merge by cones or obstructions, and then force your way over. Fuck these people, I'm not waiting.
Question 2:
You are again traveling on the highway, and are speeding. You come up to someone who is in the fast lane also speeding but going slower than you. They are currently passing a semi, or group of semi's and have no where to go. Do you:
A) Ride them like a drunken sorority girl. See if you can get your vehicle inside their muffler. It's the FAST LANE dammit.
B) Keep a couple car lengths between you. Chances are they've seen you, seen that you're going super fast, and will move over once they can.
C) Are you NUTS?? It's called a speed limit! 65 means 65 no matter which lane you're in!
Question 3:
You are waiting at a notoriously quick light, in the turn lane. The light changes. Do you:
A) Make a U-Turn
B) Punch it
C) Make sure there are no other cars in the intersection or pedestrians, and cautiously begin your turn.
Question 4:
You come to an intersection that has a blinking red light. There was a big storm in the area the night before, and most likely something got scrambled. Do you:
A) Roll through the intersection. Duh, it's blinking. That means it's not working so you don't have to obey it anymore.
B) Treat it like a 4 way stop sign. Await your right-of-way.
C) Motion everyone around you to go until the way is clear for you to proceed. It's a blinking red light, we're in uncharted territory. Just letting everyone go first is being both safe AND neighborly.
Question 5:
You're coming up on the turn into your subdivision. Do you:
A) Brake suddenly and turn. No point in wasting time.
B) Throw on your blinker, brake a bit and turn.
C) Turn on your blinker several lights before so that the people behind you know what you're doing. Come to a complete stop before turning. Best to not go wily nily into the turn.
Question 6:
You're on an interstate, and your attention has wandered. Suddenly you realize that you're about to miss your exit. Do you:
A) Swerve. Even if you go a little off road to make that exit, fine.
B) Check to see if you can get over, and if not, take the next exit, turning around if necessary.
C) Immediately slow down to where you can calmly make your way over to the exit. That way you don't surprise anyone by just jumping into their lane. Slower is better.
Question 7:
You're entering the interstate, and it's got several hundred yards of solid white line before the dashes start. Do you:
A) Merge immediately. It's not like a solid white line has any meaning other than showing you where the lanes are.
B) Wait until the dashes start and merge as soon as possible.
C) Cautiously approach the interstate. 40mph is a good speed at which to merge.
Question 8:
You are going to turn onto a 4 lane road. 2 lanes going the direction you want. At the moment there is one car coming and it is in the right most lane. Do you:
A) Floor it, and get into the left lane. I'm not waiting on this schmuck and he's not even in this lane.
B) Wait the 3.765 seconds that it will take for that car to pass and then turn.
C) Turn into the right lane. After all, that's the lane I'm supposed to turn into. I should be going fast enough by the time they catch up so that it won't be a problem. I'll be going fast enough. No. Really.
Question 9:
You live in a Southern city, and there is a freak snow storm. The roads are a little icy due to no salt trucks. You are going to the store. Do you:
A) Go fast! The quicker I get there and back the less time I'm on the road, therefore I'm safer.
B) Drive normally, but pay attention to the road conditions. Better yet, can you delay that trip? In a day the roads will be okay to drive on.
C) The roads are bad! Turn on your hazard lights, and drive at approximately 8mph. That way you aren't likely to lose control of your vehicle.
Question 10:
You need to make a left across traffic on a multi-lane road. It's lunchtime so traffic is in a state of gridlock. Do you:
A) Force your way into the intersection. Fuckers, if they won't let me go, I'll MAKE them let me.
B) Go to the other end of the parking lot, and make 2 rights, and get into the turn lane at a light.
C) Just wait your turn. Someone will be nice and let me go. Even if it takes all lunch break.
Now total your points.
10-20: Reckless and wild. Not only do you get to where you're going faster than anyone else, but you're also truly a danger to behold. You also have probably never gotten a ticket in your life due to the never-a-cop-around-when-you-need-one factor.
21-29: You're aggressive, but not dangerous. You don't get screwed by traffic very often, and probably have a ticket or two to show for it.
30: Congratulations. You're a great driver. You obey most of the traffic laws, with out being pedantic, annoying, or dangerous.
31-39: Damn, you're cautious. And maybe a little annoying. You tend to take it in the ass in traffic, but chances are you've never gotten a ticket, or been in an accident that is your fault. You also take twice as long to get where you're going too.
40-50: Not only are you truly annoying on the road, but quite possible dangerous. You make driving decisions based on wildly inaccurate assumptions. There's a good chance you're a mom in a minivan with several mewling spawn. Either way please burn your license immediately.
