Join the Throng
Tomorrow is of course, Valentines Day. A day where women are authorized to hold your penis hostage. Usually the negotiated release price is a card (fuck you hallmark), flowers, chocolate and a nice (read: expensive) meal. Depending on your girl, sometimes the price is less, or in rare cases more. Thankfully, my sweetie lets me off with a card and a nice meal. Card on Valentines day, and meal either on the 7th or 21st. Because she's awesome enough to realize it's an arbitrary day, and this way we aren't waiting for 3.5 hours to get dinner.So today I joined the throng of men looking through the card (fuck you hallmark) section of the local drugstore. The biggest problem is that 97.667% of all Valentines Day cards are over the top. I mean WAY over the top. Like suborbital over the top. I prefer a card that has maybe some little humor to it. But for the most part you find something like:
To my eternal love: My love for you knows no depths, an undying flame that shines brightly through all the obsticles we've had to face. My love will continue to burn unending even through unyielding prose.
Honestly, even if you might feel that way who wants to read something so trite?? Because ladies, that ain't us. You'll find about 1 in 10000 guys who might feel okay orating like that, and most of those will be spending more time daydreaming about your girlfriends new hunk than you.
So, to sum up, fuck you hallmark, and good luck everyone getting your penis back.
posted by wrmblnwrck @ 8:03 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, the only time it was cool to talk like that was the 14th century. Or 8th grade.
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