Incoherently unsophisticated

Review

I've decided to do the occasional movie review. Mainly because I want to foist my opinions on an unsuspecting, and undeserving, public. They will contain some small bit of spoilers as it would otherwise be a silly review. I can also guarantee that you will undoubtedly hate my opinions since I have what I would like to call an eccentric taste in movies (though it probably comes down on the wrong side of lame instead). I can promise you that these reviews will be from a guys perspective. Sorry ladies. Finally, I always look at movies as entertainment. I don't look for movies that are "deep" or "thought provoking", award winning movies about gay cowboys eating pudding, or anything that Oprah would recommend. I spend 8+ hours a day having to think, plus graduate school, so I'm all tapped out come Friday night.

Anyhoo.

Underworld: Evolution

Geek Index: 3.75/5.0 (It's a vampire movie.)

Date Movie Value: 1.25/5.0 (Be prepared to grovel to see it)

Enjoyment Rating: 4.5/5.0 (Definitely worth a view)

This past weekend I saw Underworld: Evolution. A continuation of the first Underworld movie, this one starts pretty much the evening after the first one ends. It stars Kate Beckinsale as Selene: a skin-tight-leather-clad vampire, and Scott Speedman as Michael: a very confused guy who in the span of one evening has gone from a medical intern to a super powerful unique hybrid vampire-werewolf. I'd be confused too. They spend the whole movie trying to prevent the first vampire from freeing the first werewolf (they're brothers) who has been imprisoned for a number of centuries. At one point the two main characters get it on, which many have said was a gratuitous sex scene. Mainly because they don't fade to black after they start. There's a whole other discussion about what is gratuitous and what is not, but it boils down to which side of the Atlantic Ocean we're living on. Ripping peoples (or supernatural things) heads off graphically is OK, but showing a slightly prolonged sex scene where you see a little boob is BAD. It's a rated R movie. Deal.

The other major theme of this movie is the audience getting the details of how the whole werewolf/vampirism phenomenon began. And DAMN. I hate to be the Comic Book Guy here, but can't you people (read: Hollywood) pay just a tiny bit of attention to continuity?? I mean, fuck people, did no one proof read the script?? I humbly submit my resume to be a continuity editor. To keep movies from contradicting previous movies, or in some horrid cases, themselves. Needless to say there are a number of issues with the events as they're described in the first movie, with how they're explained in the second movie. The time-line is all bizarred: there's just not enough time for things to have happened, and Selene is WAY too old. If that sort of thing bothers you then you'll have to just try to ignore that and concentrate on hot chick in tight leather.

All in all, its a very enjoyable movie. It's not as super geeky as you might think, mainly because of the sudden mainstreamness of all things geek, and also because it's just a well done vampire movie. As far as a date movie, it depends on your girl. But even if you're with a real girly-girl, you can probably get away with taking her without spending a great deal of time repenting, though it may take some convincing. Personally I liked the first one better, but this one is good enough that I'd be willing to see a third one.

posted by wrmblnwrck @ 4:10 PM