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Commercials. Commercials suck. After watching TV shows on DVD and through my Tivo, it's shocking just how much time is dedicated to commercials. I can usually get through an hour long episode of something in just under 40 minutes. There are a few that I think are funny or witty. Endurable i suppose. There are also commercials that make me want to hork.Commercials I don't mind:
Dr. Pepper ad set to the song "I would do anything for love". I just get a kick out of that commercial. It impresses me how accurately the action mates up to the music. How perfectly the line "But I won't do that!" matches up to the girl reaching for the Dr. Pepper.
Capital One ads. Pillaging barbarians, maurading pirates, ice beasts. Fun.
Burger King commercial where the "King" comes from out of no where to intercept a football. Maybe it's because it's just about the last thing you'd expect. I dunno. I think it's funny.
Random commercial #1. This commercial involves two guys painting a house. One guy tries to repel down to get the top of the wall. The rope is tied to a vent spout and his buddy is holding on. Basically one guy ends up in a tree and the other busts his ass. I have NO CLUE what the ad was advertising.
Random commercial #2. Two guys are trying to take care of a bee hive in a tree. It ends with one guy falling on the bee hive and I think the other in a trash can. Again I have NO CLUE what the ad was advertising.
Commercials that make my brain try to claw it's way out of my skull:
Cortaslim. Dr. Greg Cynamone can go find the nearest cliff and jump off it. Banishment to some horrible dimension where clowns feed on your soul while beating you with 25lbs pickles is not punishment enough. Not only is the frequency of this commercial obscene, but it jacks the volume by about 3000%. Gaurunteed to be jarring at 1AM. Fuckers.
Drug commercials in general. Any ad that says "ask your doctor about it today!" is just wrong. Our country loves to pop pills. This is the last thing we need. Plus did you go to med school? No? So why do you think you need
Any Burger King commercial except the aforementioned one. Mainly because the "King" is freaky. It's creepy. It's eerie. Probably even evil.
PeoplePC commercials. Damn are they annoying. Again, they jack the volume so that your ears bleed by the end of it. Not only that, but "web excellerator" stuff is just crap. Read the fine print. They're just trying to pull one over on an unobservant public. Fuckers.
Old Navy commercials. All of them. Fleece should be one of those bad words the censor happy FCC should ban. Gah! Don't they just make your eyes bleed??
There's probably more, but those are the ones off the top of my head. I'll add more if I think of them.
posted by wrmblnwrck @ 9:32 PM
5 Comments:
I really like the Peyton Manning, "Can you sign my melon" ad. That one cracks me up every time. And will never get old.
I agree on the BK thing. When he peeks out from behind things, I think of Michael Myers or that fucking puppet clown from "Saw". I look away for fear of nightmares.
It's only saving grace, besides the football commercial, was the one where he was facing off with Darth Vader and they just stood there and breathed. That one was hilarious.
Oh, and I like the Storm Trooper one where he fires into the oven.
"What did I tell you about shooting your blaster indoors?"...and then he gets pissed, fires, and walks away in a huff.
Excellent.
hehe funny posts. Random comments:
1. Ian says "Engage!" in this Picard voice all the time, so that made me giggle.
2. I totally agree about the minivan moms. Totally.
3. When will Amanda come and do some design work for our house? Your living roomlooked so pretty. We painted here and it looks, well, like we painted:( You should be pimping out her interior skills rather than taking her to see dancing midgets (I think the fact that the Stonehenge monument looks less than impressive might have had something to do with the fact that it was in danger of being trodden upon by a dwarf!
4. Matt was here thxgiving and wants to hang with you guys if you're in town for Xmas
5. Do you ever read Seth Stevenson on Slate.com? he's the ad reviewer and he's funny. Here's his article on the Burger "King" dude: http://www.slate.com/id/2107697/
As far as surreal commericials go, I think Japan takes the cake. It's like they don't have ritalin here or something.
I can't stand the beepbeep.com commercials, because of the song. It makes my fingernails bleed. I will race across three rooms, jumping over the couch and trodding on small children to put that commercial on mute.
Amen.
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