Incoherently unsophisticated

What.... is the Air-Speed Velocity of an Unladen Student Load?

I am not one to really believe in the whole reincarnation dogma. Yet, I have found either and instance of it, or sort of a modern day application of a particular personality disorder. Namely, those people who in ages past were mystics, sooth sayers, seers, crazy hermits living in the mountains in a cave on the tallest peak in the Land of Erg. These were the people one would go see to find the answers to life, the universe and everything. Generally these people would tell you that "To find the answer you seek you must climb to the top of the Mountain of Perpetual Torment, across the Plains of Doom, through the Forest of Eternity and beyond the Sea's of Antiquity."

These people, translated to the modern age, now work in the Financial Aid offices at universities around the world.

I got a student loan, so I wouldn't have to fork over tuition up front. The bank was okay with this, but after a month it still said that final approval was pending. So I call them up and ask why. It turns out that for 3 weeks they had been trying to get a hold of my school to make sure I was making sufficient academic progress. I thought, "hmmm, what could be the problem." So I called the financial aid office, and got a recording that told me in a big friendly voice that:

"There are no operators to take your call at the moment, please try back later."

No queue, no voice mail, it just hung up on me. No freaking wonder the bank couldn't get them on the phone. So I truck up there, taking time off from work, to stand in line to talk to the seer... er... financial aid person. They tell me they'll call and fix it. No problem.

2 weeks go by, and my fees still haven't been paid. I call the bank, bank says everything is okay. I go back up to school, they tell me everything is in order and to check back in a couple days.

Another week, and now it's the last day to pay for classes or they'll be DELETED and my fees STILL aren't paid. Amanda, my dear wife who apparently was a powerful sorceress in a past life... or would have been and it's just the modern day equivalent, however that is working, manages to divine the phone number to the financial aid office that gets you ACTUAL PEOPLE!! They tell her that "whoops! we forgot to tell the bank to send us the money, our bad." They put in a call get it all straightened out, except that the funds won't be there for 5 days. In that time my classes will be deleted, and I'll just go in and petition to get reinstated and then get to go back to class.

And no part of that, no itty bitty part of that, might in any way get screwed up leaving me totally and completely FUCKED??

The masters program I'm in is 5 straight semesters. You have to go 5 in a row or start over. So getting my classes deleted is a BIG FREAKING DEAL thank you very much. So the nice people say, "oh, well, we'll just put a special hold on your classes until next Wednesday."

Right, and no part of that, no itty bitty part of that, might in any way get screwed up leaving me totally and completely FUCKED?? Sorry, this isn't my first time to the dance , you'll have to do better than that. In the end it's all good, not dropped classes, and everything is accounted for.

But I do believe that I have found the modern age sooth sayers in financial aid (post office, and DMV also qualify) around the world.

Or... perhaps they're Vogons in disguise.

posted by wrmblnwrck @ 12:49 PM